quitting facebook & surviving


friend [fre-end]
a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
a person who gives assistance; patronsupporter:

facebook definition of friend(s) [fre-endssssssss]
noun, verb, adjective.. whatever you think it is
people you may or may not know who what to know your business
people you add to your profile in the hundreds

I did it... I quit facebook {personally}!  Some of you that follow my business page know that I actually made the leap last month, but it has taken me this long to get my thoughts in order for this post since I had so many of you that were curious about it.

Now don't get me wrong, I love social networking.  I love the advancements in technology that have made it possible for us to connect with each other, but I have to ask.. where does that leave actual connection?

How often did I log in, see someones status and get an immediate update as to how they felt, what they were doing and where they were at?  Yes, great in many ways..but also not so great.  After seeing their updates its as if my mind was set that I really knew how they were doing.  I felt no need to text/call/visit with them because in reality they had just told myself and 465 others (assuming that's how many people they currently have on their 'friends' list) how they were doing.  It started to create a bad habit with me that I wasn't liking.

For me it was a time sucker.  Everyday I would log in and I would have to go through all the updates to catch up to the very last one I had seen the night before.  I would message my mom instead of calling her, and get this we live in the same town and see each other daily!  I would facebook stalk (yes, creepy) people I went to high school with, exes, exes of exes, old co-workers, friends of friends I had heard of but never met.. you get the idea.

And for what?  Do any of those people matter to me? Not Really.  Did I waste an incredible amount of time that I could have been using on something more meaningful? Definitely.

The decision didn't come easy, but I was slowly pushed to a point that I couldn't deal anymore.  Maybe I'm too sensitive or dramatic, but I've tried to get out many times.  I had an old aquaintance (i.e. not a legit friend) who was on my friends list that every time I didn't message her back immediately she would post these dramatic status updates & it was funny because she was an older woman, hello grow up!  I would log in and see people write 'fml i can't go out tonight i have to work' ....really 'f' your life because you have a job and boohoo you can't go drink??  I had family members say they only knew what I was up to because of my fb, but still never commented or tried to connect with me. I would browse random photos and see things like 'oh I look so ugly here' and I always wondered really? if you look so ugly why did you post that photo you darn comment fisher! Why was I wasting my time on these things??  I had moments where I would say something on fb and would get texts about it, or I would say something and being that we live in a little town it would get to other people it had nothing to do with.  The day I decided I wanted to quit doing hair/photography, I posted it that morning and my nana (grandma) knew from her nail tech before I had a chance to tell her at lunch... really?!

Do you see all the ways we can connect & share with others we know and complete strangers?  I remember having myspace and being on the 20th page of the member look up area, considering that page lookup was in the hundreds of thousands full of millions of members when I left it was a big deal.  I remember my college roommate Melissa signing up for facebook after I had dropped out of college (lol) and attending beauty school and I was so jealous that she had this cool site to see other college students.  I remember days of websites like hotornot.com & facethejury.com <--if you remember those kudos to you!

As you can see I've been around social networking for a while, and I'm officially burnt out on the personal side of it. I now find it only useful & vital for the business side of things.  However I'm so thankful for the wonderful people I have met and the real conversations I'm having with them.  It's funny that I talk to people on instagram & twitter and I've never met them and I'm ok with that.  I can't explain that part, maybe its because we all have businesses and they seem to be the ones who understand me.  They don't say things like 'oh are you making those little hair things still?' or 'you have a blog, what do you write about?' they respect and support what I do.  We are in it together and appreciate each other to me that's more of a friend then some of the people that I actually know in real life.

I know that it's great people who actually do connect with their families on there, and have actual friends they keep in touch with.  For me I don't need a long list of 'friends' that I don't personally hang with, ones that I don't even know their middle name, I don't need to know your baby status updates & that your baby is now growing and is the size of a mango (I DON'T CARE!).  I'm not trying to be a jerk here it's just that  I don't need to waste time seeing how people are doing from what they type on the screen when really I would rather go grab lunch and catch up (which even that seems hard sometimes) or with some of my new online buddies a skype date!  I just want to really connect with the people that matter the most to me & I want to stop sharing things that mean nothing. I want to have time to focus on myself, my family, my home, my business.  For that reason I quit facebook.

*update- i just got asked how you can delete your personal page and still operate a business one.. well you can't, so what i did was go in and delete every single friend off my list, then went into my privacy settings and basically hid my page! now when i log in i just go straight to my business page and do the biz stuff easily.

another easy way (extremely easy!) is to create another facebook page, go in and add that new page and your business page 'admin' then go delete your old page and your new admin will have all the same editing options as your old one!

*this is simply my situation & opinion, I do not judge anyone that has facebook as I still have my business page and I completely understand the need for personal pages, not all of my fb experiences were bad in fact I loved all the positive updates it just got to a point that the negativity & time suckerage outweighed the good! please keep any negative comments to yourself & have a great day!


  1. Wow. This post really makes me think.

  2. I agree, sometimes I wonder why I keep my FB page when it doesn't really serve a purpose in my life, in fact it takes time out of my life! Great post Heather :)

  3. Girl you said exactly what I've been feeling. Facebook has been difficult for my relationship mostly because it's like insta-jealousy. You don't know what people are up to there and it opens you up to wondering even if nothing is going on. Plus its the only environment in which someone can remain "friends" with an ex and it's supposedly ok.
    I'd really like to make the plunge with my fella and quit it together in 2012. Maybe I will show him your post.

    Also, I owe you an email back. It's totally coming after work today!!

    Love you and your open heart and pure honesty. You rock!

  4. I've had this topic on my mind lately. I tried to "get out" a couple of times, over a year ago. Both times, my mom and aunt and a few cousins all threw massive fits, hurled guilt trips at me, and I caved. Eventually I gave up and joined the herd of people posting "Ugh, I feel sick today" and "My baby has fingernails now" and "I did xyz and now I'm off to do abc"... It's embarrassing, really.

    You know what really gets me? This summer I finally friended a couple of people I go to church with, who where making an effort to get to know me (something I'm not used to). I haven't heard from any of them in months, but being all caught up in my first pregnancy I hadn't given it much thought beyond thinking they were busy (school, work, wahtever). But then I started to notice a trend - I'd see them at church, ask how they are, then they'd comment on things I'd said on facebook - they already knew how I was doing. This wasn't a big deal, until recently. The last three Sundays in a row, one of the older gals I'd been enjoying getting to know this summer would greet me, ask how I was doing, then as soon as I'd start to answer she'd cut me off and say, "oh right, I already knew that from your facebook page" and that would be the end of the conversation.


    I'm not really sure what to do about it. I mean, my mom and siblings all live on the other side of the country from me, and we DO keep in touch via FB. My aunt/cousins I don't care so much about (not to be mean) because they never talk to me outside of FB and they're kinda nosy. And I have a friend who I talk to on FB all the time. But most of my "friends" don't care at all what's going on, and never ever talk to me outside FB. So do I leave FB completely, or do I just delete everyone but the ones I talk to? I have a page for my blog, so if they subscribe to that they'll get the baby updates and family stories still...?

    Sorry, don't want to monopolize your comments section, lol :P You just really hit a nerve and now I'm all thoughtful and whatnot. Good for you, taking the plunge :)

  5. ALENA! if you love it for family reasons why dont you get rid of everyone except the ones that matter (mom, aunt, cousins) and make your page private so that its like a fun little family group that you can share with! =)

  6. GOOD IDEA!! I couldn't figure out how to delete my personal one without losing my blog fb page...you're so smart. The drama is ridiculous...and it's adults...oh well. Off I go!!

    Thanks again!!

    <3 Lisa at Mom, Dad, 2 Girls & Brutus :)

  7. I love this! My personal life is off the wall crazy and I don't talk to ANYONE in FB land...but I LOVE my business page...How do you delete your personal page without deleting your business page?

  8. I laughed at the "exes of exes"! Because that is so me!! So lame! I wish there was a way to keep FB just so i couldn connect with a select group of people that live far away. Other than that, everyone else I see on a regular basis and I dont need status updates from them, or me for that matter.

  9. I quit my facebook in september and it was the best thing ever. i too wasted so much time reading about other peoples lives, and not enjoying my own. that got me thinking if everyone is posting all the wonderful things they have going on on facebook are they really taking the time to enjoy what they are doing?
    my friend were upset still are but that's just to bad if they want to know how i am they can pick up a phone and call or come by. :)

    you will love not having it.

  10. I gave up Facebook for two weeks, but I haven't been able to go all the way. I live in a place where I don't know ANYONE, & Facebook helps me stay connected to my real-life friends, no matter where they may be. I could definitely benefit from spending a little less time on it, though.

  11. While I still have a FB account, I could not agree MORE with you on everything that you have stated!!! You said it all perfectly! I am the person who doesn't add people I don't know, and I could care less how many "friends" I have on FB! In fact, I go through occasionally and clean up my list, as I do with my closet...if I haven't worn it {or talked to them} within the last 6-12 months, they're out! While this may sound cruel to some, I see this a way to only keep in touch with those who truly care, and who truly matter.

  12. good, good post. this has been on my mind a lot lately, and i think you've just pushed me to the edge, to deleting my account.
    i waste too much time on facebook---and with 6 kids, i can't afford to waste time.

  13. You made some really great points. Social Networking is so useful for businesses {I actually prefer twitter for my biz} and for networking. But, when it comes to people you actually love and see - a real connection is important. Not just a FB connection. Great post Heather!

  14. This made me laugh my booty off, nod my head yes, and respect your honesty simultaneously. Doesn't everyone FB stalk exes?! I am on the cusp of removing myself, I deleted all the mango baby people and pessimist Patti's, thanks for the food for thought.

  15. "If you look so ugly why did you post that photo you darn comment fisher!" HAHAH, this post cracked me up! But you are so right girl, facebook is definitely a time sucker and a whole lot of drama!

    ...I'm just not ready to cut the cord yet, ha!


  16. ...aaaannd I love you even more now. Especially after the "comment fisher" sentence. You put this all in perfect words and all the same reasons I quit FB 6 months ago. Don't even miss it.

  17. Love this post girl. I deleted my fb for the exact same reasons at the beginning of the months and it has been so refreshing! I love not feeling anxious about checking status updates and keeping up. I am with you, the people that matter in your life you should keep in contact with in a more personal way then through a screen! Much love!!

    <3 Marissa

  18. i wish i could talk myself into deleting mine! =/
    lame... i know.
    like, why do i even care anything about having one?? LOL

    great post!

  19. i totally agree with you on so many points! i am not as strong though lol. i know i couldn't delete mine for the sake of family members and friends who all live in different countries, but i totally do have days where i will sit there and look at my friends list and just delete a few at a time. i haven't got the guts to delete most of them like i really should... but i'm working on it!!!!!

    xox dana

  20. Lovethis! Did the same thing, I have 9 friends on my Facebook. I love that you took the plunge, you are such an incredibly talented person and I love that your not bothering yourself with stuff that doesn't matter! Congrats an I'm so excited to hear what your up to in the new year!!!!

  21. OOooh! I deleted my Facebook in August and I had a panic attack when I was doing it! Like, what if someone needs to get ahold of me?! haha Then I realized that anyone that would, has my number! I had to laugh when I read a Pin on Pinterest that said "quitting Facebook is the adult version of running away from home. We all know you'll be back." Maybe maybe not, but I haven't had it almost 5 months and I don't miss it. It's kinda freeing! You'll love it!

  22. This post is really great. I agree with so many points you made. I am a business owner/blogger as well and I like having a page for my business, but it seems every time I sign on, I spend 5 minutes on my business page and then an hour looking through random things from other people.

    It's like a high school reunion, but every. single. day.

    I will keep FB for all my family and close friends living all around the country, but it is very saddening when even family members don't think it's that important to meet up or call because they will just log in to FB and think they are "up to date"

    Love this post and your blog :)


  23. wow that is awesome! I wish I could delete mine. It is a total time sucker! Thanks for sharing! Your view makes total sense and kudos to you! :)

    Have a giveaway going on over at my blog.. Come check it out!


  24. I really love this post as I know exactly how you feel. I quit FB about a month ago and it was the best thing I ever did! I got fed up with people telling me they had been to the toilet, what supermarket they were in and what they had for dinner. Too much info! There is too much bitching going on and plenty of attention seeking. Since quitting, I still regularly talk with my real friends, but as to the others? Well I hadn't seen most of them for years anyway and it just seemed to be a way for people to shout 'I have a better house/car/wardrobe/family/social life than you' etc! I find I now have more time for my blog which is more productive. People read a blog if it is something they are intersted in. But people read a FB status becuase they are bored and nosey!

  25. Good for you! It takes a lot of will power to quit Facebook :)

    For me, I have always tried to keep my friends list really small, and have only the people that I really care about or make me laugh. I could care less about how someone went for a walk that afternoon, and I also hate when people are fishing for comments. Those are the people that taken off my list.

    When I was pregnant, I didn't tell anyone on Facebook or post any photos. I had a difficult time getting pregnant, and it was really hard on me to see status updates from people that were pretty much bragging, or even complaining, about being pregnant. The important people knew, but I do share photos of my son now because that is how a lot of my family is able to see him :)

  26. wow this has got me thinking...
    seriously though i prefer twitter than facebook


  27. Whoop! I did it! Me and FB are noooo more!!! Just me and my little business page!!! LOVE!!!

  28. Good for you. I never set up a facebook account. It was a decision my husband and I made a couple of years ago- because we thought it was for the better, and it totally was. Enjoy that extra fb time being creative- because you ROCK being creative!
    Merry Christmas!

  29. I don't mess with my personal FB page much any more. I'll put up photos of my kiddo for the in-laws & other family members far-far-away.

    But no one needs to know, or cares, that I had a medium decaf pumkin black coffee from my local Dunkin Donuts!

    Fact is, I rarely comment on what anyone else is doing either. Guess I don't care about their coffee!

    I use FB mostly for networking with my blog.

    Maybe one day I'll be inspired to delete my personal FB account too!

  30. Girl this is awesome! I quit Facebook awhile ago, and I found that I don't even miss it at all! It's actually been easy! And now I find that I receive more letters and phone calls. :) Good for you!

    xx Margaret

  31. I have been debating about deleting my personal page myself. I am so glad I found your blog and read this post. You are really helping to inspired me to do so!

  32. Love this! It's been a couple of weeks since I quit Facebook and I totally believe it was a great idea. I was wasting so much time keeping up with people's lives... And, yes, playing those stupid games, lol!

  33. i quit facebook 2 years ago and haven't regretted it for a second. i have a business one only. i quit blogging for a while too but then realized that my blogging was important to me for other reasons - now i blog again and cheerfully remain fb free!!

  34. You have a super cute blog! Found you through Gentri Lee. Hope you had a great Christmas!

  35. Great thinking Heather! I pretty much only use my fb for my business and to post photos.
    I've struggled with this on and off. So good for you for finding what works for you.
    I love your blog, and love your products!
    Have a great day

  36. Wow, Heather, I soooo understand what you are saying. I just did the same thing about 5 months ago. I also have a business page, and was annoyed that I had to keep my personal profile to keep my page and followers. But, I just log in, and go straight to my business page. It's all good. This is a GREAT post, and I couldn't have said it better myself! I'm new to your blog, but you already have me hooked just on this post alone ;)

    Have a great new years!

  37. I totally understand where you're coming from. I have taken to deleting people more and more from my friends list...I ish I had the courage to take the whole thing down.

  38. haha i met my husband on hot or not

  39. I quit 6 days ago. I logged back in to get rid of any apps I was connected to so I wouldn't trip the final deletion of my page. I realized as I scrolled through, I wasn't missing anything. I was numb. It didn't matter anymore. What was once an addiction is now brought to this... meaningless fodder and gossip. I'd rather meet friends for coffee honestly. My conversations are more meaningful.

    Facebook had stolen my life, and I took it back....

  40. this is so inspiring. i've always wanted to just permanently delete my fb because i always find i'm more depressed then inspired to reach out to people on it. i just have to suck it up and realize that all those who really care about me will find other ways to get in touch. email, text, phone call, face-to-face. i'll have to do this soon!
    xo TJ

  41. I just need to do this. I could ne having the best day, then get on fb and get really down by negative updates ans jealousy. I've been thinking about this for a while. I might just do it.

  42. I have a personal facebook page, for almost the reasons you say. Odd eh? See people post, and they expect me to have read it. I don't post anything on there, I personally use Google Plus, but I do have a facebook business page, like you.

  43. ***updated editing info****
    in case you need extra help hiding your profile & in response to a couple emails!

    "i keep getting kicked off my page and put back to my personal page, what can i do?"

    ok since your page is owned by your personal acct its going to kick you back to personal no matter what! what i do is just stay logged in lol and always on my page acct, if i log out then i have to visit my page and log into my page again.. i actually do this a lot, if i cant stay logged int!

    "i keep getting friend requests from people i deleted"

    also did you delete all your friends?
    i only have my husband as my friend so we can chat when he is away on business and dont wanna sit and text eachother.. so in the private settings i have that only 'friends of friends' can friend request me.. basically only his friends (which are work buddies lol) would request me if they wanted.. so if you have no friends then no one can request you!

    i also edited all of this stuff down on the timeline page to get rid of as much info as possible, you can edit the timeline easily by visiting this page and clicking on the first link in that first paragraph https://www.facebook.com/settings/?tab=privacy

    "how can i make my page completely private?"

    also change your 'default privacy' its thats first thing on that link that says
    public-friends-custom just change it based on if you want friends to see your page or if you deleted everyone make it say 'only me'

    next head down to 'how you connect'
    thats where you will see how people can message you or add you

    "is there anything else i can try?"

    and in your blocked list if you really wanna make sure certain people cant see your profile, just go and block em! that means they cant see you and you cant see them!

    hope this helps!!!

  44. i hope i have the courage to quit my facebook as well... ive been thinking about it daily yet still log on each day to facebook... thanks for the great post

  45. I finally quit "friend" Facebook a week ago. I kept my family because they are all over and they still wanted to see pics of my kids and hear what I'm up to. This post helped me do it! Thanks Heather!!

  46. Just posted you the longest comment and then got booted! Gah. Anyways, I love you for this! You are amazing...My new years resolution was to simplify and I think this will be a good start :)

  47. I figure it's time for me to do it. I have hidden so many "Woe is me" family members... and "I didn't even hang out with you in high school" people. I like the idea of just keeping immediate family, and telling everyone else that if they want updates to my life, like my business page, call me, follow my blog. I would much rather focus on building relationships with people who take the time to read my blog now... that is immediate family and blog friends. Thanks for the grounding:)

  48. I just let everybody know. I told them "If you want updates of when new things are posted to the blog or shop... hop over and LIKE my business page. If you don't want to do that, then it probably doesn't matter if we are friends on facebook anyways:)" It made my mom and me laugh so it's all good.

  49. I'm totally with you on deleting facebook! The only reason I've kept it is for my blog page.
    A few years ago I took a full 2year hiatus, when I came back on I deleted 95% of my "friends", it was refreshing!

  50. i deleted my fb several months ago and my life has been perfect ever since.

    and that's only a SLIGHT exaggeration.

  51. I thought about this too. I just kept ppl on fb that I actually speak with or are positive influences in my life. It is hard. But I have a small list and I like it that way. Good for you for making a positive change in your life.

  52. I am so glad you added that note afterward. I have been searching for how to do that, thinking "I know Heather deleted hers and still uses her biz page ..." LOL! I like the idea of linking it to a separate email and deactivating my personal. Thanks, love!